Quinn, who had been in and out of rehab and sober living facilities for years before coming to Guiding Light, says it’s Guiding Light’s uniqueness that is allowing him to change. “Every other rehab I’ve been to is 30 days,” says Quinn. “Being here for a second month was a big, big deal for me as it allowed me to dig deep and realize some things about myself that I’ve never thought about before. They don’t just let you go through your day here, they help you change your actions over a longer period of time.”
Quinn, who is 28 years old and is from Grand Rapids, says he’s overdosed more times than he can count in the past ten years. “I was using methamphetamine, cocaine, Xanax, heroin, alcohol – all of it,” says Quinn. “After the first overdose, I remember being scared, but I remember the want to be high far outweighed any consequence. I told myself anything to convince myself to get high the very next day.” During Quinn’s cycle of addiction and going in and out of rehabs and sober-living facilities, he eventually found some success at a facility near Chicago. But he was eventually kicked out after relapsing, this time with a woman who was also abusing drugs.
“When I got kicked out, I found out she was pregnant. I thought the right thing to do would be to move back to Chicago and try to make it work.” He quickly realized that was a terrible decision. “That was the beginning of years of living with another addict and addiction. There was never a good moment there.”
His son was born and Quinn tried his best to be in his life, but knew he couldn’t stay in Chicago where he had no support system and easy access to drugs. Because he didn’t have custody, he couldn’t bring his son across state lines, so returned to Michigan alone. Quinn heard about Guiding Light and saw the impact it made on some of the people he met in sober-living facilities. He thought he’d give it a shot, but didn’t think Guiding Light would take him.
To his surprise, he was able to start the program and immediately saw how Guiding Light was different. “I quickly saw that you learn how to live life on life’s terms here. You’re taught how to deal with your emotions and cope with things instead of just learning about how drugs and alcohol have changed your life. It’s tough, it’s hard, but it’s successful.” Quinn also has built strong ties with both the other men in recovery and his life coach since arriving at 255 S. Division. “Addicts, especially in rehabs in these conditions, are connected by such an amount of pain that other people don’t experience and we can relate to each other. There are just some bonds in here that are not like anywhere else. That’s something I’m really grateful for. “I also have a really good relationship with my life coach and I’m able to connect with him on a lot of different things because he understands what addicts go through. Sometimes I tell a story and he’s got a story that matches it.” Time at Guiding Light has also helped Quinn, like many of the people who go through the program, find strength in faith.
“I wasn’t spiritual at all before coming here. I grew up with no religion in my life. When I was a teenager, I was very against God and the idea of God. But believing in something that’s bigger than yourself gets rid of believing you’re in control of everything around you when you’re not.” Now, Quinn is making progress and has his sights set on a brighter future – one that includes reconnecting with his son, who is currently living in Illinois with his grandparents. The grandparents say their door is open so long as Quinn remains sober. “During the past couple years, I kept telling myself I’ll connect with my son when I’m in a better place. There’s been moments where I’ve been OK enough to go do that but I just kept avoiding it. There will never be a point where I’m going to be free of addiction. Since coming to Guiding Light, I’ve learned that I have to stop living in that cycle and do something about it.”
Quinn knows he has a long way to go but has a plan to get back to what he loves, albeit with a different perspective. “I really want to go to Iron House after this and end up playing music again. Music was my passion in life and it’s been hard because music and drugs became so intertwined that I couldn’t do one without the other. Because I’m changing as a person I want to try and separate those things.
And Quinn’s message to the people whose support allows Guiding Light to open its doors to men like Quinn? “I’m incredibly grateful to Guiding Light’s donors and I’ve told that to the ones I’ve been able to meet. I appreciate that there are people out there who care enough to help people that are in a dark place, which gives you a sense of hope for the future.”
