Corey recently moved to Guiding Light’s sober living community called Iron House after completing four months of addiction recovery programming and spending another four finding stable, full-time employment and saving up for his future in recovery. He recently spoke at our Family Easter Meal celebration, and below is the powerful testimony he shared:
“Good afternoon everyone, my name is Corey. I want to start by thanking Guiding Light for giving me the opportunity to share my story here today. Speaking in front of all of you today is something that I never imagined being willing to do and to be honest, I am still terrified of speaking in front of people but when Nick asked me to do this there is no way that I could say no after all Guiding Light has done for me – this place has saved my life.
I’m not going to go into details of how my life was before coming through these doors. All of us have experienced addiction whether it be first or second hand and my story is a similar one – I was on the fast track to death and didn’t see a way off. I had burnt all bridges; I wasn’t trusted by anyone, even family, and had lost all hope. I didn’t really know what to expect when I came to Guiding Light, but I knew I wouldn’t survive much longer if I didn’t get help and I had nothing left to lose.
I struggle with finding the right words to describe almost anything so putting into words how much Guiding Light has done for me and how much my life has changed in just 8 months is extremely difficult. So, because Easter is the celebration of a two-thousand-year-old miracle of all miracles, I was going to describe what Guiding Light has done for me as a miracle that is beyond words. And even though I do believe that what this place facilitates is nothing short of miracles, I want to try and put into a few words what GLR has done for me for those that might not be so familiar with the program.
Before coming to Guiding Light my life was defined by isolation and avoidance. I avoided everything, especially the truth and responsibility. Change started when I became willing to stop avoiding help and coming through these doors and asking for it. Then I had to be willing to admit that I didn’t have any answers and that my way got me where I was. To start, I had to be willing to show up and to listen.
Then I learned about honesty and not just telling the truth and not lying to others but being honest with everything that I had been hiding, even from myself. Honesty led me into something that I didn’t ever really understand and mistakenly thought of as a weakness rather than the strength that it actually is: vulnerability. Opening up and letting people know the real me. Learning how to give and accept feedback. Embracing the uncomfortable which was the beginning of real genuine connection. Connection that I never thought was possible for me. And that’s where the most important part of this program changed everything for me: this community.
I didn’t recover alone. I recovered in rooms filled with people like this. I recovered through shared struggles and conversations with staff and peers. I healed because people showed me genuine love when I didn’t feel worthy of love. This community is more than just support and the transformation it makes possible is beyond words, but it is people holding each other accountable, its people encouraging one another, it’s reminding each other that we are not alone, and most importantly it is loving one another. And one of the neatest things about this community is nowhere else are you surrounded by people that everyday are trying to become better people and help others to better themselves.
With this community’s help I started developing self-awareness. I began to understand my fears and my patterns. I began to see the stories that I was telling myself and the reasons behind my choices. And instead of hating myself for my past choices I learned how to be self-compassionate. I realized that I could acknowledge my past without being defined by it. I started to see myself as more than just a drug addict alcoholic. I was taught that growth doesn’t come from shame and that it comes from grace. I struggled with showing myself grace and compassion and learned a lot after giving a presentation on it here. I was also given the opportunity here to be the house manager which helped me realize that I was capable of more than I give myself credit for and I am thankful for my life coach for seeing something in me that I couldn’t see in myself.
With that came responsibility, another focus point that I gave a presentation on and learned a lot about. I thought I knew what responsibility was, but I learned that it meant owning up to my actions and stopping blaming others or circumstances. I might not be able to change my past, but I can take responsibility for my future.
Spiritual formation is something that seems to have just occurred for me because of other changes that I have made in my life. Easter is a fitting holiday for me to talk about what Guiding Light has helped me to accomplish. Easter for Christians is about the resurrection but since even before Jesus this time of year has been about renewal. Its about life returning from the brink of death and before coming to Guiding Light I was on the brink of death. I had no hope, purpose, or direction and this community was able to help me resurrect all of those and give me new life.
I am here today a changed man. I don’t have everything figured out and I am far from perfect but that’s why we say progress not perfection. I have a lot of growth yet to do and I am still growing but I am growing with intention, hope, and with the incredible support of this amazing community that I am extremely honored and grateful to be a part of. Transformation doesn’t happen alone, it happens together. So, thank you to this community, this program, and to all of you. I love you all.”